It has come to our attention that there is a specific terrorist threat on Australian soil.
To be precise, a highly contagious disease has been released and is sweeping across car audio forums as we speak.
This infection has been spawned from a modified version of Anthrax, dubbed Alfax, and it causes high range Shinyitis. We do not know where this chemical Alfax was released, but we believe that there are certain cells within Australia which have been manufacturing and encouraging the spread of this disease.
There are an increasing number of cases being reported. Mild symptoms involve answering newbie's question with hesistance and waiting for shiny_car to confirm. Moderate infection brings the new symptom of completely failing to assist newbie's at all. As the disease develops, severe cases can develop. These are characterised by thread titles involving some combination of "SHINY CAR READ THIS".
Unfortunately, severe Shinyitis is prevalent, and threads are now being answered within minutes of their creation by a huge, multiple page post that answers every question, including questions that have not even been asked yet. Both sides of the arguments are presented and discussed. This leaves precious little room for discussion amongst other forum members.
I must reiterate that this is a highly infectious disease. The Australian Government is aware of the risk this presents to the Australian people and is proposing a lockout system which would prevent shiny_car from replying to threads for a 2 hour period. This would allow some sort of reasonable discussion to develop.
Some call this a restriction of rights, but our first interest is preparing the Australian people for an emergency situation - what happens if shiny_car is maimed or killed by a terrorist group who mistook his Alfa for Alpha Squadron ?? The forum will collapse!
Be prepared! As a new initiative, every Australian family will soon be receiving a fridge magnet with a freecall number to report potential Al-Faeda movements on your car audio forum. Stop the spread of Alfax and practice containment procedures whenever you encounter a victim suffering Shinyitis.
I would like to remind the Australian people of a quote by our famous leader:
QUOTE
"Terrorists oppose nations such as the United States and Australia not because of what we have done but because of who we are and because of the values that we hold in common."
We will uphold your right to the freedom of speech and the freedom to say things you later regret.
Related to these incidents, authorities are seeking the Melbourne cell of Al-Faeda thought responsible for the outbreak. It's leader, Marc Rushton, and his deputies, Ainz and Bobby. Please consult your fridge magnet if you believe you have further information.
Thank you.
Authorised by the Commonwealth Government, Canberra.
funny.....
